Hey, everyone! Alec here! I’d like to start off by saying that I’m sorry I haven’t been posting lately. I’ve been forgetting and been too lazy to write, to be quite honest. I’m going to try and get writing again and posting more frequently. Thanks, as always, to everyone who’s been reading. Now, on to today’s blog!

As you may have noticed, the name of this blog is “Break-Up Calls and Wake Up calls”, and today I will be writing about break-ups. Here’s the “Break-UP Calls” part…

As you may imagine, one would have to have some “Experience” on the topic in order to blog about it. That being said, about a month ago, my (Now ex) girlfriend broke up with me. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience, as one one would think. Add that to the fact that it was the first one I’ve ever been through, and it made for a rather bad experience. I’m not saying that it ever gets easier, I’m sure it doesn’t, but I didn’t know how to respond to it. I’d rather not write a book (Although if that kind of thing is selling nowadays, someone please email me and I’ll get to work,) about it, but I was pretty distraught for a little while. Thoughts like, “Really?”, “Why?”, “What happened?”, and the like went through my head. The day it happened was a Saturday, so I had A LOT of time on my hands. Now, when something serious like this happens to me, I tend to think. Quite a bit. I started examining every single detail, going through every scenario, wondering if there was anything I could have done differently, and things like that. Those of you who have gone through a break-up, I’m sure, know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’m going to back-track for a second and talk about how I, as a guy, work. At Fuse last Sunday, Ben (Our youth director) explained a lot about how guys think/react to situations. Here’s how guys react to a situation: Scientifically speaking, when we as guys go through something (Without knowing it) we use half of our brain to react, allowing us to react… Well, re-actively! We skip over the emotions of the situation (Most of the time) and go into problem solving mode first, but we do get to the emotional part later. That being said, here’s how a girl deals with something: A girl, when presented with a problem or situation will use both halves of their brain to react. This causes two things. One, it causes them to react just a little slower than a male would. (The time difference is really only in milliseconds, so guys, please hold back your “Male supremacy” jokes…) And B, it causes them to react “Emotively”, or react with emotion FIRST and problem solving later (Again, most of the time). Now, the last time I checked, I’m still a male, so here was one of my reactions: There were several times that I would take something soft and chuck it across the room, turn my amp on the heaviest distortion i possibly could, turn it up, and play something on my guitar, shoot random people online on Battlefield 3, slay dragons in Skyrim, and just take my aggression out on whatever I possibly could. I did not cry or enter an emotional state until about a day later. Most of that was because I didn’t feel like being emotional, but the rest was because I’m, well, a guy. After the anger had subsided, I called my buddy up and went to his house and he, my other friend, and I hung out and talked through everything. This was a very positive experience, as my friends are very supportive. All things considered, the break-up was fairly clean and I didn’t feel too bad for too long, so the rest of the few weeks after that were spent on general recovery and wondering where to go from there.

You may have noticed something in the last paragraph. Or, rather, the lack-there-of of something. Can you think of it? I’ll give you a minute. Don’t worry, I’ll wait……. Ah, you have a guess? Great! Now, if you guessed that God was not mentioned a single time in the last paragraph, you are correct! That was intentional, because just like that paragraph, I did not even think about God during that time. Sure, I went to church and Fuse and whatnot, but I did all of those things without really wanting anything to do with Him. Don’t get me wrong, a part of me knew that I needed God if I were to get through this, but the rest of me wanted to go and put Him in a box until I was ready to bring him out and play, but not until I was ready. I took a very arrogant approach on all of this. I was doing things “My way”. If I were to have been asked, I may have said something like, “God? Really? You want me to talk to God right now? I don’t need him, I can handle this myself”. And boy, I could not have been more wrong. While I may have been “Over it” after the first week or so, I did it without God, and I felt like something was missing. After all, I had not even thought about God during this time. Being the dunce that I can be, I thought that the problem must have been something I hadn’t thought through or talked about. Surely, I thought, that must be it. I kept thinking about it until I realized that I had scoured my mind for every possible detail. However, I still felt like something was missing. Finally, whilst on my iPad one night, I turned my music on shuffle, and the songs “Lay Down My Guns” and “I’m Not Alright” by Sanctus Real came on back to back. As the chorus of “Lay Down My Guns” chimed in I realized that what I was missing was in fact God. “When I lay down my guns and lift my hands, surrender to love and live again, may this desert reach its end where my new life begins; When I lay down my guns and lift my hands.” That’s the chorus of the song, and hearing it was a huge revelation to me. I realized the lack of God’s hand in my life, so I started praying, and even though I thought I was fine, I realized that I really wasn’t (Due to the lack of God). As I kept praying I could almost feel the burden I was carrying being lifted off my shoulders, as if God himself was taking all of my problems away.

Now for the “Wake Up Calls” portion… After being freed of the emotional turmoil of the break-up, I started to realize certain things. I started to realize A. That I should have seen it coming all along, B. That moving on was not a bad idea, C. Some things that I decided that I didn’t like about the relationship, and D. I made standards for myself and for future relationships. My point is that after God freed me of the hurt, I was able to open myself up and understand why things went the way they did and I was able to do so without being sad.

Morale of the story? God wants to help you through whatever turmoil you may be facing. Whether it’s bullying, addictions, financial problems, break-ups, or whatever the case may be, God WANTS to help you, and as I found out, all you gotta do is open the door for him to do so. Because of this, none of us have to go anything alone. We can always fall back on God and his amazing saving grace that always says “I WANT you. I WANT to help you”.

As always, thank you for taking the time to read!

God bless,
Alec Lancaster

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